Personal Retreat and the Test

The past weekend was very good - and thank God for the trip back. The chalet on Fri night helped to prepare my heart on the theme of my personal retreat, and the highlight -- Saturday breakfast! Such a privilege :)

My meditation was on the character of Christ... His love, grace, patience (long suffering). I revisited a brief passage in Matthew 9:2-6 where Jesus healed the paralytic. The situations I often meet -- being inconvenienced by selfish/rude/inconsiderate people or just bad circumstances -- these can ruffle my feathers. But here, Jesus healed a paralytic, but others accused him of blasphemy! It is another extreme altogether!

How would Jesus feel? He must have felt severely frustrated being maligned. Indignant. Defensive. After all, He is also a man. So many pairs of eyes looking at Him, some hoping for him to stumble, others just wanting to see the show. How did He react?

Calmly. With a tinge of compassion.
He asked a simple question "Why do you think evil in your hearts?"

There was no exclamation mark. In a simple act of grace, He turned their malice away, focussed not on their evil but instead offered love and a second chance to repent. How beautiful.

So how can I mould my character into being more Christ-like? Of the bible's many verses, two came to mind:

• Psalms 1:2-3 "But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in season... and whatever he does shall prosper"
• John 15:6 "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me, you can do nothing."

Yes, I acknowledge my flaws - risk of bad temper, too quick to speak, etc, and I truly want to change. Indeed as the passages remind me, I must cherish Christ in my heart, abide in Him, meditate on His words and His ways. Then over time, out of the abundance of my heart, my mouth (and actions) will speak forth Christlikeness! Yes, it is a long journey, but I've already started on the way...

The test came swiftly. Arrived at AD in the evening, pressed to finish some work for Sunday but... my internet connection failed. Time pressure + inconvenience (paid for internet connection that doesn't work) = perfect recipe for bad mood for the whole evening.

Yet I was at peace and not in a bad mood. The technician came, tried but couldn't solve the problem. I thanked him for his efforts and just decided to pray, close this day to God. This morning as I walked to breakfast, I saw the technician and we smiled, greeted each other. A nice human touch.

I later met a colleague who solved my problem - the firewall!! God is merciful - I didn't have to stay alone in the client's office late at night without aircon or water to work! And... I passed my first "post-retreat" test. Praise God :)