Lessons from the wars in OT

As I traced the path taken by God's people through the books in the Old Testament, I often imagined myself as a character living amongst them. From that point of view, God is with us and would drive out our enemies before us so that we can possess the land across Jordan river that God promised (Joshua 3:10).

Yet I struggled to understand how a God of compassion and love would demand His people to ensure the total annihilation of their enemies whose land God has given to them. Various examples are given:

• Joshua 6:21 "They devoted the city to the Lord and destroyed with the sword every living thing in it - men and women, young and old, cattle, sheep and donkeys."
• Joshua 8:24-27 "When Israel had finished killing all the men of Ai in the fields... all the Israelites returned to Ai and killed those who were in it... as the Lord instructed Joshua"

Surely God could have allowed Israel to conquer them but keep them alive, perhaps as a colony who would pay annual "tithes" to Israel, or even less, as mere slaves?

Today, I thought... yes, God could. But He could have three objectives:
(i) He wants a complete victory over the sin in their lives, not to leave any bit behind
(ii) God is Holy and he wants His people to be set aside, not to compromise by marrying pagans who worship other idols
(iii) For those who were vanquished, God was using Israel to execute judgment against them.

So I thought, the first point is probably most critical - the complete victory over sin in our lives. To live for God means we cannot compromise and live on with sin. Rather, we must eradicate them completely, however "acceptable" the alternative may seem.

Prayer:
God help me keep my mind focussed on You and give me a heart of thanksgiving. Help me to choose to praise You in all circumstances. Guard my thoughts especially when the going gets tough and frustrations mount. Help me always to think of "what would Jesus do", and to capture my thoughts, emotions to the obedience of Christ. Amen.

I had an irrational fear last month when I started work that I will have to go away.  Now that fear has come full blown - I'm headed off to Dubai for 3 mths.   Goodbye cell retreat, goodbye Bangkok trip and goodbye YA camp.

But it isn't all bad as I initially imagined.  In fact, God has been very good.  The company agreed to let me return fortnightly, and the staffing manager even arranged for me to take a course at end-April.  Thank God!! So while the first month is usually the toughest, I have something to look forward to :)

A close friend encouraged me to use this time to seek God and build my faith, and that is what I would do - during the weekend, away from the busyness of activities and people...  just me and God.  Think it will be awesome just watching the sun set over the blue waters and singing praises to God at the beach.  

For now, just hope I live up to the my manager's expectations, and that my two credit cards survive the expenditure!!

The Father's embrace

It is my nephew's 1-year old birthday celebration today.  I saw him reach out to my brother and cry "urrgh!"  He can't quite talk yet, though he's making all sorts of noises.  But that "urrgh" and the body language of reaching his hands up towards my brother was his clear sign that he wanted to be carried. 

It just reminded me of a Daily Bread article I read recently.  Indeed, isn't it the same between me and God, my Abba Father?  I too yearn for His attention, the reassurance of His love.   

As I raise my hand in worship, this too is my personal signal saying, "Father! Here I am, your child. Will you carry me?"

And He did :)

Fixing my eyes on Jesus

I shared with the guys last Fri about my struggles to "keep my eyes fixed on Jesus" in spite of all circumstances in my life.

What does it mean? I was drawn to Peter’s water walking feat. When he heard Jesus’ voice call him, when he obeyed and stepped out of the boat. He’s a fisherman! Surely he knows that's foolish and he’ll sink from years of experience! Yet he got out of the boat... and became the only man on earth (apart from Jesus) who actually walked on water!! Yes, he slipped when he shifted his gaze from Jesus to look at the winds. but hey, Jesus grabbed him nonetheless! Didn’t get wet or lose his wallet, mobile phone etc! ;-)

So over the span of the week, I’ve collected some thoughts, read some books and studied His word. The bible does give some insights.

Zacchaeus - a wealthy chief tax collector wanted to see who Jesus was. But he was a man of short stature, and figured he probably couldn’t see Jesus through the crowd. Then he did an incredible thing - he climbed a sycamore-fig tree to look (Luke 19). And he got more than a look - Jesus came to his home!

A rich young man (Matt 19) went up to Jesus asking how to get eternal life. "What good thing must I do?" He too saw Jesus, even conversed face to face! But there was a slight difference –his heart. Was he seeking the gift or the giver? All I know is that he went away sad.

Martha opened her home to Jesus, and she busied herself with the preparations that had to be made, e.g. cleaning up the place, prepare food and drinks etc, absolutely necessary since it must have been day time and hot when Jesus came. Yup, I would imagine if the Prime Minister of Singapore comes to my home, I’d have to do some cleaning up and drink pouring etc too!

But through this all, she must have shifted her focus from Jesus Himself and what is He interested in, to providing for what she believed were Jesus’ needs (e.g. food & drinks), or on even how messy her house is (perhaps feeling self-conscious? Or just trying to be a good host!). It must be tiring. Having gone through SAF and B-School, I fully understand the dislike for “skivers”!! So in her anguish Martha might have cried, “This is not fair! I’m doing all this work! Lord, tell her to do all these together with me, so that we can all sit down together earlier!”

How many times do we echo such thoughts? “Its not fair!” or perhaps for a partner saying “Why do you think I’m working so hard? I’m doing all this to earn more money to provide you a better life!”

Perhaps things would have been different if Martha paused, fixed her eyes on Jesus and sensed what He really wanted? It was as simple as her being by Him, her willingness to listen to him. This Mary did.

So it is as a boy fixes his gaze on the girl he likes, I should learn to fix my eyes on Jesus. And listen.

* * * * *

I was walking to buy lunch yesterday in the busyness of Raffles Place. The crowd suddenly parted to both sides like the red sea. And I saw someone in front, seated on a wheelchair, holding onto a donation tin and trying his best to get attention. But most in front of me skirted around him, continuing their quest to fill their tummies.

I stopped. Reached into my wallet and put something in the tin. Sure, it wasn’t much, but that’s the least I could do. I hope Jesus smiled, because for that split second, I had my eyes on Him :)

Something cute I read today: 

I think my companion and I spotted it at the same time: one of the biggest cockroaches I have ever seen.  A cockroach big enough to star in a science fiction movie.  Both of us were at a loss of what to say.  When is it socially proper to point out to your hostess that a cockroach is about to run off with her refridgerator?!  

But she saw it too.  She calmly stopped the conversation, got up from her lounger, went to the kitchen, pulled a spray can from the cabinet, and slowly and carefully positioned it about 6 inches above the invader.  Then she started to spray.  

"One thousand one.  One thousand two.  One thousand three.... One thousand five." I counted to myself.  As far as I could tell, the cockroach drowned!

I turned to Lillie, who was still standing over her conquest, making sure that it didn't move, and I asked "What was that?"  "That," she said, "was my first husband."

Gee... I fear cockroaches too!  But she was so brave.  There is something I can learn from her - maybe I should add a small can of insecticide to the collection of things I bring about in my bag!! But more importantly...  erm... don't antagonise women!

Of late, I've been just reading or just listening about lives of other people.

Last week I read in papers about how people coped bravely with the recession; from John Rolfe and Peter Troob I learnt about I-Banking and why I don't want to go into it anymore; from Neil Humphreys about a light-hearted perspective about life, even in Singapore!

I count it a blessing to be still in touch with my ex-bosses, as my "mentors". One ex-boss is on no-pay leave from the Admin Service. But knowing his passion for charity and his strong Catholic roots, he was just doing what he liked best - contribute his share at NVPC. I am proud that he openly shares his faith - even in a press interview! And indeed as another ex-colleague quipped, he does look happier :)

Just received an email which brought back memories. Was 3 years ago when I with Amus at ECP where he shared he wanted really to stay in Singapore. Despite his efforts, this desire didn't come to pass. Today I was forwarded an email which really touched me.

"Yes…life is really another world now. The world I live before has gone. Just another total fresh chapter of live here. This chapter of live make me so happy and even make me cried sometimes. My bold prayer for everything is just claiming His word from Psalms. 139, that He sees, knows and with me always. This psalm comforting me lots.... please uphold me and my wife in your personal devotion that we may always find well in His sight. Pray that we keep doing God’s ways in everything."

Three lessons I drew from this:

1. God's promise of abundant life - Amus is living it and joyful with thanksgiving
2. God's ways are higher than our own!
3. Each new chapter of our life, each new day, draw strength from God and continue to walk in His ways

My hunch was right.  What was to come arrived.  

Got called into my MD's office at 930am, handed out work to be done, and my first case.  

That's it.  Honeymoon's over.  Time to wake up and work from Monday on!  

Meantime, savour this precious weekend :)

Is today a day of reckoning?  I got a glimpse of what's coming up next...   but I have been reticent to think too much.  Maybe I'm still recuperating from last weekend's madness.  I mustered enough courage to tell my Proj Leader that I have to go to church on Sunday, and that I will not work before 3pm.  That's my space with God, and fellowship with Saints :)

  

Thankfully, this week has been very manageable so far.  At a meeting, my client asked me a question:

Client: "So how long have you been with the firm?"

Me: "I'm in my first year".  

Client: "I see..."

On the cab ride back, my MD said, "I was really worried what you would say.  Good answer, well done!"  Phew!!! Thank God!  We had a nice chat in a cab ride back to office.  

Better yet, right after that I was treated to my "welcome lunch" @ San Marco.  Feels exclusive -one need to make early reservation, and take a separate private lift up to the 8th floor!  It used to offer a nice view, until...  the IR construction started! Pity

Must have been one of the most expensive lunches I've ever did in Singapore.   Starters average S$30+, while main course dishes doesn't go below S$58!   http://www.sanmarco.com.sg/menu/default.asp

But the food was nicely done, as with the service.   Overall... worth the price?  Up to each person to decide bah.   I think its a nice treat once in a while :)

Had lunch with two of my ex-bosses today, one of whom came quite late because she had to drive over.  We each took turns to call her but she did not pick up.  But shortly after, she texted me asking for... the nearest junction?!   Later she explained she didn't have handsfree set so couldn't answer call!  I wonder... can't talk but can send sms while driving?! haha....

---------------------

What kind of responses would a guy have if his girlfriend is late for an appointment by 1 hour?

A: Wait for 30 min, be very angry, keep calling and then give up, go off

B: Be angry and wait till she comes, and berate her before she speaks

C: Simmer in anger, wait till she comes, and then listen to what she says

D: Wait patiently, when she comes in apologetically, just say calmly "its ok, wasn't a long wait; I knew you'll come" 

The last response that given by Sato to Jiale in the recent <未来不是梦> drama series on channel 8.  *APPLAUSE*!!   When she had no appetite, he cooked her his hometown dish.  Then he said "原来幸福也可以那么简单- 看着心爱的人吃自己煮的面 ".  When he lost a musical box they made together, he searched hard in the snow, because he didn't want to lose the item that symbolised their love.  

The last episode had a scene where she was due to leave with Sato to Japan for good.  The other guy chased to the airport and begged her to stay.  Sato boarded the plane first, nervously wondering if she'll come on board or not.

I thought... "That's it! She'll be touched by the other guy.  Poor Sato!! Nice guys don't always end up happy" 

Sato didn't stand much of a chance against the other more "suave", rich and accomplished guy.  Surprisingly, Jiale chose to leave, telling the other guy "I've fallen in love with him, the moment he cooked me the noodles".  

Sweet isn't it?  Gives hope to us mere "nice guys" ...

In the last three weeks, I tried to "pack in" perhaps two months worth of activities before I start work.  Perhaps I should have read the wisdom of Solomon first - Proverbs 25:15, 27-28 - too much of a good thing can turn bad.  What happened to my self control?

Ironically, having started work this week, I suddenly found myself having heaps of free time - short hours in office, and zilch social life at night :(    

Thus I slowed down my pace and started to listen to my own thoughts and voices of people around me. 

Conversation 1

Early this morning, I was sharing a lift down with a mother and child this morning and overheard a cute conversation:

Mother: "Girl, don't touch your teeth! See lah... one in one out already"

5-year old PAP girl "But mummy, my teeth can move..."

(Panicky) Mother:   "What?!!  Let me see...."

The lift door opened and the mother hurriedly rushed her daughter out to the daylight to check. Isn't this all about perspectives? What to her daughter seems innocent "fun" and perhaps a minor irritation was, to her mum, a major disaster/concern!  (Think - dentist + "bo-gay" + what would neighbors think...)

Random thoughts

Singapore is WIP.  Why?  Realised I am surrounded by construction.  The majestic view from my office window faces...  the three "tablet stones" of the Marina Bay Sands IR!!  Even as I work, I can hear the piling take place...   

545pm came and I happily left.  Took the MRT back home, only to realise that hey, Punggol too is a massive construction site!  On the LRT platform to my right I counted no less than 13 high-rise cranes building on two HDB sites, all rushing for the Punggol 21 DBSS developments;  I looked leftwards and suddenly realised that view to "Mordor" (the towering infernal flames from Johor's shipyards and factories) was now blocked and distracted because in the immediate distance, an entire plot of previously green trees is now bald and crawling with construction workers and vehicles doing clear works and foundation laying... 

Looks like I'll have more mosquitos visiting me in the near future :(

Conversation 2

Again when I was standing at the lift landing this evening while waiting, I saw a mum with her kindergarten-aged girl and a boy with his maid (interestingly enough, Kindergarten is a German word!  How did we ever import it into English in Singapore?)

Before entering the lift

Mum: "Girl, see who's that cycling here?  Quick, say "hi!""

Girl: (kept quiet, looked at mum only)

Mum: "Hi Isaac, cycling here ar."   

Inside the lift

Mum "Girl, do you play with Isaac in school?  

Girl: "Yes" (still not looking at him)

Mum: "Whose bike is bigger girl?"

Girl: "Mine"

Boy: "No! mine!" (fiddling with the lift buttons)

Mum:  "Ok, nevermind, I also can't remember"

Lift door opens at Level 4.  Everyone exits and the girl turns left with hum and boy's maid held his hand to turn right.

Mum:  "Girl, say goodbye to Isaac"

Girl: (keeps quiet, doesn't turn back to look at him)

Boy: (Led towards his door, but his head was turned towards the girl... all the time!!)

Then the lift went up... and stopped at next level!  Arrgh!^%#$*!  That boy pressed extra buttons!!  :(

Actually, the girl was quite sweet looking - I'm quite sure she'll be a boy-killer (i.e. 桃花)when she grows older.  I also wondered if the boy likes the girl, which is why he looked back.  Or maybe he does, but being that young, he doesn't understand his own feelings, so he only knows how to fiddle with the lift buttons to "act cool" in front of her, and then look at her when she walks away...  

Or, maybe its just me thinking too much... ?!

I read an article in the Sunday 早报周刊 titled 《明天阳光依旧灿烂》。 It interviewed a few persons on how they are coping with this recession. A 31-yr old lady lost her job and chose to use this time to nourish herself and even bring her grandmother to tour the world. She also resolved that for her next job, she will not work later than 7pm because she finds there is more to life than work. For her, “失去也是一种收获”; another 31-yr old lady chose to quit her job in a magazine publisher because gradually got more depressed and worried doing articles on the bad news of people getting retrenched from the recession. She decided to set up her own travel photography company after being inspired by a book 《再苦也要去旅行》, with the mindset that “坏日子必定会过去”. I admire their spirit - being strong and courageous in the face of tough circumstances, holding onto their dreams and hopes.


I also saw a brief TV programme about KFC hiring deaf workers. Their positive attitude to life, their willingness to overcome their disability, earnest desire to work hard to just earn a decent and honest living in this harsh society... I have loads to learn from them! Thank you KFC for hiring them! I will frequent your restaurants more :)



All these also reminded me of a dialogue in one of my favourite videos:
心蕾说,“从这里看过去，每一个灯火都代表一个温暖的家，但都不是我的。”
秦朗回答，“你真么知道不会在这里找到属于你的灯火呢？最重要的，是不能放弃你心中的愿望。”





Actually since Sunday, I had been felt a little downcast and heavy laden. I reached office early today, and saw the view of the glorious morning.

Perhaps this was God's reminder to me that in spite of all circumstances, dawn will still scatter the darkness of the night, and that hope always remains.

Indeed, it is hopes and dreams that keeps one alive and going. For me, I live in the hope of His promise. I also live and work hard for my dreams to be realised in line with God's will. And of course, it would be nice to have a taste of bliss in between :)

At this thought, this hymn inspired by Lam 3:22-24 just kept ringing in my head:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,

His mercies never come to an end;

They are new every morning, new every morning,

Great is Thy faithfulness O Lord,

Great is Thy faithfulness.

- Robert Davidson, 1974

At lunch yesterday, one of my worship team leaders asked me "so where are you working now?"  I realised.. humm... I am technically "unemployed" for yesterday and today!

But I stand at the threshold of starting a new job tomorrow - Been waiting for this for so long!  It is perhaps like the biblical "promised land" for the Israelites who had been wondering for 40 years, and are now camping just outside the promised land.   

Yet it is bag a mixed feelings - I feel excited about starting work, meeting new challenges and colleagues; yet simultaneously I also feel so inadequate, so uncertain about whether I can do the job well, etc.  I choose to believe that this is God's providence to me, and I want to do my best, excel and enjoy my work rather than dread or fear!

Lev 26: 6 "I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid. I will remove savage beasts from the land, and the sword will not pass through your country."

May He be my guide!