Just woke up... and it feels like a dream that I am already back in Singapore. In my sleep, I kept dreaming of what I'll be doing next with my friends the next weekend in Germany etc. Gosh I miss them!

The twist of events is still fresh in my mind. On the eve of my departure, the staffing manager from my new company called me and told me that I couldn’t start work till 1 Mar. Why at such short notice??! The week before I had confirmed 5 Jan start with his HR executive. Now I was left feeling lost, uncertain and even scared – what if they pull the same trick 2 months later?

I surprised even myself by openly with Konstantin and Roland about my circumstance and from the point of view as project mates, they understood my plight. Nonetheless, I was stressed about my options. Could I continue to work on in this project for another 2 or 3 months? Would the partners agree?

In my frustration, I called Mei late at night, forgetting that she had an early day at 4am to pick up her family. Indeed she was already asleep! But she nonetheless woke up, and even drove me to McDonalds for a chat. Very touched!

Her analysis was spot on - since my mind was set on going home, then if IC allows me to stay for 2 months, it is a bonus; else just go back home and see what I can do meaningfully till March. It wasn’t a problem of grave difficulty. My frustrations arose because perhaps I lived a rather more ‘charmed live’ and couldn’t stand things turning out even slightly bad. And she shared her own difficult path towards landing a job and even her sister’s. Obviously I have been very blessed. I was lost for words – being a Christian, I felt ashamed that my faith wasn’t strong enough to keep me feeling positive. She said that I would look back 2 months later and find all this stress a joke!

18 Dec morning – I arrived in office at 755am with my two suitcases, went up to see Thorsten, my project partner. He empathized with me and said he would think about it. I later learnt after lunch that he did raise at the Partner Round in my favor, with the support of my manager Konstantin, but the request was nonetheless rejected. So the path then became clear when my options evaporated. Mei is right – I have to bravely meet up to the next 2 months.

Fast forward to today... 19 Dec 2008. I still wonder about my courage, but I will press on. "Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust" Ps 40:4

I just spoke with my Managing Director Sabine about my resignation. She was rather surprised and felt it was a pity, although she fully understands my views. Thank God that my process of departure has not burnt any bridges!

My last weekend here was really enjoyable. Shopping on Sat for Christmas presents at the Köln was an experience - the streets were packed!! Almost like the way runners press towards the start line in a marathon. I actually missed the return train because I couldn't fish my way through the crowds in time just across a short 800m stretch! But I managed to accomplish my mission and got a present for a friend, BQ :)

Dinner was at our Bad Godesburg Hong Kong restaurant with Derek and Mei for tim sum and other dishes. Was supposed to be my treat at the super expensive Japanese restaurant, but Mei relented and saved my wallet! Phew! We then chilled out with wine till past 2am, but still woke up in time for the third advent service at the Church on Sunday! The highlight of Sunday was actually making dumplings and eating them! Flour + water = skin! So magical!

Christmas gifts - really put alot of thoughts into buying the right presents and writing the cards for Derek, Mei and BQ. E.g. Derek doesn't have FB so I left him my email address in the Christmas card! Least they look touched and happy with my gifts :)

I wonder how I will feel when I leave on Thursday... really gonna miss them! Gonna leave that for the next blog...

Gosh it has only been a few days but I feel so tired. Late nights, early calls. Its only Thursday evening and I've already clocked ~49 hours this week. One rule of thumb I realised - work for a company that isn't global! Conf calls between US and Europe can be pretty punishing :(

But my American client is simply amazing. She's pushing 40yrs old, but just did a 3am night and got up in time for another 8am teleconference. And worse, she's taking conf calls from 6am for three mornings this week - almost seemingly normal for her?!

Curiously, first time I heard her voice, I thought she sounded so much like Sarah Palin! Does she look like that too?? ;-) Unfortunately, life is quite different - she's short, and quite "packed" (if you know what I mean!). Guess the late nights doesn't help...

So... maybe my life isn't too bad after all - its all relative.